Ask a Dominant

Making Initial Contact with a Dominant

Ask A Dominant

Q: Do you like it when a sub/slave makes the initial contact with you? Do you find it weird or aggressive? Are they supposed to wait for the Dom to contact them first? Or, if you are interested in a sub, do you initiate contact?

A: Outside of certain types of events where submissives are not supposed to speak unless spoken to, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a submissive initiating contact with a potential Dominant.

Personally, I don’t mind if a potential submissive shows interest in me. I find it quite flattering, to be honest. And while I most certainly do NOT find a submissive an aggressive thing, I think it strange if someone pursues me too aggressively — I’m left wondering things like “Are they sick?” “Are they dying?” “Are they trying to win a bet?” — which isn’t a good thing.

While there is no rule book that states that a submissive can’t or shouldn’t approach a Dominant first, most submissives are more shy than Dominants in regards to approaching them. And the newer the submissive, the more shy they are in a lot of cases.

For this reason, many Dominants — like myself — will make the first move, if interested in someone.

With all this said, if you find that you want to approach a Dominant, be careful. The wannabe Dominants and other predators might use your contacting them as a way to unleash a veritable Pandora’s Box of creepiness upon you.

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