Ask a Dominant

Making Relationship Suggestions

Ask A Dominant

Q: If I have suggestions for my Master about our relationship, how can I make these suggestions in a way that doesn’t make him feel depleted of his control?

A: The fact that you’re even asking this question shows that you care enough about your owner to want your relationship to grow stronger.

Merely expressing a want or desire for your relationship is never a bad thing, nor should it make a Dominant feel his control is waning.

With this said, the types of things that you suggest coupled with the way that you suggest them, could most certainly be a factor. So don’t make suggestions that might be a trigger for your owner.

If you already had a discussion about things that would be a trigger for your them (which should have happened while you two were vetting each other), then just use that as a point of reference and build from there.

For example, requesting to play or be involved with others might be something that would make your owner feel like they’ve less control over you, simply because they may feel that you’re asking because you feel them inadequate in some way.

Regarding the way you would suggest something, using the above example, if you ask these things time and time again, making it more like a demand than a suggestion, for someone that might already feel as if they’re control of you might be threatened or inadequate in some way, might be a recipe for disaster.

With all this said, the easiest way to begin any suggestion is to simply be up front in your thoughts and feelings, making sure that what you’re wanting wouldn’t be perceived as a potential threat to your relationship. Be prepared to answer questions regarding your suggestions, with why being the most asked question on average.

However, don’t start your suggestions with the phrase “we need to talk.” I don’t care how Dominant someone thinks they are, no one likes to hear these words, and will most certainly make them go on the defensive.

All in all, I’m not sure exactly sure of the parameters of your relationship. However, this all falls under communication, which I’m sure that your owner would understand.

Good luck!

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