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How to Meet People if You’re New to BDSM

How to Meet People if You're New to BDSM | Dominant Desires

Q: I’m new and I have yet to meet anyone in order to see if this is a lifestyle I would enjoy. Where would be a good place for me to start?

A: If you’re new to BDSM, finding your way in this lifestyle can be a daunting task, to say the least. But unlike when I was brought into this lifestyle, finding others like yourself is a bit easier now.

I would suggest that you look for a mentor within a group of like-minded people in your area. A mentor should be able to answer most of the questions you likely have. A good place to do this would be to find a munch or similar get-together on FetLife.com (If you happen to open an account there, you can find me at @RajanDominari. Just sayin’).

Just remember that in looking finding a mentor, there are loads of predators, wannabe dominants, and the like on the site that will try to play with you, shag you, or develop some sort of dynamic with you. This is especially true if you’re new to BDSM, as you probably have no idea of what to expect, and thus, easily led. That is NOT what a mentor’s role entails.

A mentor’s role is simply to guide you in finding your way in this lifestyle, and possibly develop a friendship from it. That’s IT – nothing more. Anyone that does otherwise, or says differently, is one of the types of people I just mentioned.

Now there are, and will be, a fuck-ton of people that likely say things that equate to ‘everyone has their own way of doing things’. While this is true, it’s ONLY true in the realm of being in a dynamic with someone, or the lead-up to one (e.g. vetting a potential partner). And even then, there are still some basic rules that exist for a successful relationship to develop.

I’ve written a few articles that might help you a bit. You can check them out here:

With all this said, if you keep your wits about you, you should be just fine. Good luck to you, and I hope this helps.

How to Meet People if You're New to BDSM | Dominant Desires

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