Q: I’ve been reading about the D/s community and learning what I can from the internet for a while. I’m interested in learning more, but I don’t know how to go about doing so.
Being a submissive sounds very appealing and I have been wondering how to figure out if that really is for me. Do you have any advice for me?
A: Well to start, it’s a really good thing that you’re trying to educate yourself about this lifestyle. A good way to go about this is by finding a mentor in your area.
I wrote an article about this as well that you should check out called “Mentoring is Good for New Submissives.”
Something for you to consider is what about submission appeals to you? Is it simply an escape from your everyday life? Is it the thought of giving up control to another person? This is a VERY important question to ask yourself, as it will play a lot into the expectations of your relationships – because being a submissive is a LOT more than just doing kinky things.
Regarding advice, the only thing I can really say to you is:
- Don’t be eager to rush into ANY relationship. Vetting is a long process, and should not be taken lightly. If a Dominant is trying to rush you into a permanent dynamic, you’ve to ask yourself (and them as well) “what’s the bloody rush?”
- Do NOT get into a dynamic with a new Dominant. Just… Don’t. You’re not someone’s sodding tinker toy as they figure out how to be a Dominant. It usually creates more problems than it needs to.
- Don’t be afraid to ask questions. This is important.
- Be CLEAR about your expectations, needs, and
There are probably loads of other things I could say, but I’d be writing all bloody day. However, here are some other articles that you might want to check out on being a submissive:
I hope this helps!