On the Subject of Brattiness

I’ve been asked on more than one occasion about my opinions on bratty submissives, which I’ve touched on in previous articles. So I’m going to give a little insight into my thoughts on the matter. Let’s get started.

I personally don’t believe that a brat is a submissive type, but rather a submissive state. From my experience, brattiness is — and should be — about playfulness and communication, and for many people, the dynamic works because both partners enjoy it.

For example, I have a pretty good sense of humour, and my submissives all understand this. Some of them love to be cheeky at times, or make me laugh.

But they understand that if they push too far, they will most certainly be punished for it. At this point they typically reign themselves in, because they know that I’ll follow through with what I say. So while they don’t test or fight with me much, if ever, they have a pretty good handle on when to play and when not to.

Just to clarify, my submissives are not bratty ALL the time, if much at all — because I wouldn’t tolerate that. However, if those submissives were to suddenly become uber-subby submissives, I would likely miss their sense of humour, their being cheeky or any of the other quirks that I’ve allowed. Like I said in a previous article, I’m not against a little playful fun, but being bratty and being playful are completely different things.

The trick for submissives to figure out is what bratty things are genuinely annoying to their Dominants, and which are feigned annoyances. Dominants should work out funishment versus punishment — and do NOT mix the two.

Now, when a submissive is being overly bratty, it’s usually because something is going on that is overtaking them, which could be almost anything. But no matter the cause, the effect is typically the same — they begin acting out in a way that is less than admirable. This is where effective communication comes into play.

For you Dominants reading this, if you expect to be respected and obeyed without question just because of a title, won’t get what you’re looking for with these submissives — it won’t work. They won’t get anything out of their relationship with you, because they’ll find you stuffy and pretentious. Furthermore, if you expect to be respected and obeyed without question just because of a title, then you’ve a LOT to learn about what it means to be a Dominant, mate.

With all this said, as I mentioned above, brattiness is about playfulness and communication. Being bratty for the sake of being bratty is NOT a submissive type, nor does it have anything to do with submission. No matter how you spin it — it just isn’t. It’s nothing more than a way for them to see what exactly they can get away with, which is nothing more than sheer manipulation. If they constantly act like this, my suggestion is to get the hell away from them.

Unless you are attached to them by law, then um… sorry. Deal with it.

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  • Reply
    May 7, 2018 at 4:21 am

    I like to distinguish between bratty and cheekiness. To me cheekiness is the playful, humor, banter and teasing that goes on with my sub. Bratty, as I see it in others sometimes, is willing disobedience. I love a good cheeky back and forth, personally cannot stand someone being bratty for attention particular when its combined with a lack of awareness of the needs/mental state of the dominant.

    • Reply
      Rajan Dominari
      May 7, 2018 at 9:17 am

      Thank you for your comment! I’m glad to know that I’m not alone in my thinking.

  • Reply
    August 22, 2017 at 3:59 pm

    I like that you’ve made a distinction between playfulness vs. real brattiness, with the key differentiator being the submissive paying attention to what the Dominant finds “genuinely annoying” vs. what the Dominant actually enjoys (at least a little). Essentially you’ve honed in on the difference between a sub who is (most likely purposely) being annoying to her Dominant and a sub who is just naturally playful and utilizes that personality trait as one way to make her Dominant happy.

  • Reply
    August 22, 2017 at 1:00 pm

    I’m a sub that can be quite the brat at times. It works as a great outlet for many things and can lead to many greater things… I think this article was quite spot on… From the brat perspective 😉

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