Mentoring is a good way for a new submissive to learn about this lifestyle. In mentoring, an experienced person is chosen to help guide the new submissive through the early stages of our lifestyle.
We are involved with something that is so vastly different from vanillas that people are often overwhelmed with what they see. Also, since there are so many predators who seek to prey upon the vulnerability and ignorance of new submissives, it is helpful to have an experienced individual act as a protector. Of course, this pertains more to submissives rather than Dominants. Though I won’t personally mentor a Dominant, the concept of a mentor is helpful to both.
As I mentioned, a mentor needs to have experience. That is the first thing that should be sought out. I am amazed at how many submissives choose a mentor who has only a few months or a year experience. That person is NOT a mentor. Instead, that is a person who is most likely deceitfully preying upon the submissive. A mentor is there to pass along knowledge gained by their being part of our lifestyle for a number of years — possibly decades. Thus, it is crucial that one be around for this amount of time.
The second thing that a mentor must be is trustworthy. Here is where the situation can enter a gray area very quickly. It is common for a new submissive to “fall for” their mentor. This is a person who is going to act in a manner that resembles a Dominant or Master. However, he is not that person. The line between owning someone and being a mentor is clear. There is a degree of trust that is handed over to a mentor in the same way a therapist or counselor is given trust. To betray that by personally involving oneself moves into the area of deceit.
This means that the mentor needs to understand the limits completely. One who crosses the line is the lowest form of scum there is. I have more respect for someone who is upfront and obvious about their intentions. Anyone with any intelligence can pick them up instantly. The mentoring predators are more difficult. So, we need to be wary of these people.
Mentoring is advantageous in that it allows one to learn about this lifestyle without making the commitment to a particular person. Also, I always suggest one have more than one mentor so as to alleviate the possibility of one crossing the line and taking advantage. Plus, it is always helpful to have a couple of viewpoints about things.
With all of this said, if you are a new submissive, consider a mentor before rushing headfirst into a relationship. It could be a way to prevent you making many of the mistakes that are commonplace today.