Rants

Misconceptions of BDSM Relationships

Showing your love and care for your submissive is a very good thing

Today I’m going to talk about something that, in my opinion, is a growing problem I’ve noticed as of late. I’m finding that a lot of people within BDSM communities – both newcomers and veterans alike – have some pretty big misconceptions about BDSM relationships, which may affect their relationships – if it hasn’t already.

What I’ve found is that lot of people believe that BDSM relationships need to have some sort of constant kink element to it, that all parties of the relationship need to be constantly playing and can’t relate to normal love. They believe that love is found in dealing and receiving pain, or whatever their particular kink practise may be.

This couldn’t be further from the truth.

Wholeheartedly loving and caring for your submissive, wanting to make them as happy as possible and displaying this love in an affectionate manner, does NOT make one any less of a Dominant. Not in the least. In my experience, doing these things only strengthens the bond that I have with my submissives.

And while I understand that some people enjoy an abusive style within their dynamic, and respect it – it’s just not my thing. I admittedly have had submissives that I had under consideration, take my being nice for weakness, instead of as my showing an appreciation for their submission. But that’s a story for another time.

Anyway, my problem is the way of thinking in a lot of communities that I’ve interacted with, believing that there are things that those in BDSM relationships shouldn’t be doing – that vanilla love and practices are both taboo and humiliating.

The truth is – and I’m sure most of you can agree – that at the end of the day, most people are still looking for love.

In my relationships, there are of course, times of kink. However, there are times when I simply want to have a romantic night of gentle love making, take a shower together, or cuddle in front of the television? Just because someone might be kinky, either in the bedroom or even as a way of life, doesn’t mean they don’t love just like their vanilla counterparts.

People tend to forget that their submissive or Dominant, before they gave and accepted their roles with each other – was a human being first, with a life full of things that interested and excited them before they became part of this lifestyle… Or involved with them.

What are your thoughts on this? I’d love to know! Let me know in the comments below.

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